i think ive become too cynical. about love.
and it scares me. because im too young to be cynical.
love story movies used to make me... "aaaaw"...and although they make me sad sometimes, its only because i believed love happens, just not to me.
but now...i can only muster a "ah okay...whatever."
i never believed i have loved anyone before. i always claim its just deep like, or love but not quite. because i thought, if one has never been in a relationship...one can never know what love means. but maybe marie was right, you have better chances of knowing and feeling love when you're not in a relationship. because youre not expecting anything in return. and its harder to love that way because youre holding on a very thin thread...and no one's holding it with you. its harder because it takes more effort. its harder because when it makes you cry, you only have yourself to wipe your tears. its harder because when it pains you, its only you who can feel the pain. its just..harder.
emily said that if youre not willing to do stupid things, then you dont deserve to love. i deserved to love then. but i deserved to be loved back too.
maybe i did. maybe i did love. even with no strings attached.
sabi nga ni tita akala daw nya love ko na siya kase ang dami ko daw tears na iniyak para sa kanya. siguro she saw how much it pained me. i saw it too. and it just makes me cry even more. but its not just him you know. ralph made me cry loads too. ucc did too. maybe i even loved them more than some girls did... because i cried in silence, by myself, without demanding anything from them.
but look how stupidty and love has done to me. i dont believe in fairy tales anymore. love stories cant entertain me anymore. i lost it. i wish my faith back. i dont want to live my life being cynical in something that breathes life in other people. but how do you mend a heart? how do you teach a heart to believe again?
ucc once said that he can never make me believe anything he says. if he only knew, then he'd understand why i cant believe him.
love stories rarely entertains me... they just make you realize that "happily ever afters" stays in movies and never really happens in real life.
but i am not "kholoma". i am not a guy. i am not surprised love stories dont entertain you.
By 12:27 AM, at
when i say rarely, i mean sometimes they do entertain me. especially when i can relate, but sometimes...never mind...
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By 6:04 PM, at
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
|How to make a Falling Star|
1/2 cup of naivety
3/4 cup of laughter
1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!*
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...