am not a kid anymore.
they keep telling me that's its not your time yet, youre still way way young, and the best is yet to come.
but when will be my time? i just turned 21 and maybe that's no reason to get alarmed. it does not necessarily mean that im 21 and single since birth that i am gonna stay like that forever. but the thing is, if you've never been with anyone all your life--it makes you wonder what's wrong. what could 'dating people' have done that i haven't thought of doing? (i was tempted to say it makes me wonder what could be wrong with me, but no, i am never going into that again. i just promised myself never to have anymore insecurity attacks and im sticking to that.)
sigh.
i never get tired of this topic. i could write endlessly about the fears, the dreams, the thoughts, and everything about single since birth and perpetually heartbroken souls and i would do just fine. this is probably the subject i am most eloquent about.
sigh.
the point is not really about my desperation of having a boyfriend because everyone else does have. that's so not the point. its just that i want to feel the happiness of knowing someone has returned my feelings...because...(sigh) i never knew how that felt.
if only i can guard myself from falling in like with anyone, if only i could put up a barricade to block my heart from ever beating unusually faster for some guy, then i'd be soo much better off. i'd be happy being alone for life. the thing is, i cant do that. apparently, i have a heart with a mind of its own. without warning, it just falls for someone. and im doomed because it breaks me bigtime when my silly heart seeks to have its feeling returned but cant have it. one or two or three or four heartbreaks is tolerable but for a heart(faith) broken a dozen times? its a bit too much that you start wondering if your fate's cursed.
am not a kid anymore. i want to feel loved back too.
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By Anonymous, at 3:12 PM
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...