im pulling an all-nighter tonight.
why do i do this?! just why am i a hard-core procrastinator?!
my japanese class sensei told us a week ago to write an essay (in jap, of course) to be submitted tonight...and yet, im still writing in my blog and not doing a thing...and to add to that, i have a vocabulary (jap) quiz tomorrow that should have been today (which would have given me more time to study but..huhuhuhuhu..i still havent studied on that either!), and have two homeworks i havent done yet (which i should have done a week ago). im becoming a bad student!!! huhuhuhuhuhu..-_-
anyway...as i was starting to write my essay, i was brushing through my notebook for free space when i came across this thing ive written last november 2, 2004. i do it all the time, i write my thoughts anywhere...candy wrapper, even on my economics books (i remember scribbling my so-so-years-ago crush's name on my econ book to keep my eyes entertained because the library's ambiance is really tempting me to sleep), on my room's wall when i was a kid...absolutely anywhere. and its fun, coz when you came across them after a looOong time when you've totally forgotten about it...sigh..i dont know, its just interesting to look back on how i've felt...and thought back when i wrote those things.
anyway, here's the entry...
NO GREAT EXPECTATIONS. CANT HAVE GREAT EXPECTATIONS. this happened before and i cant let it happen now. 'signs' cant make me fall for someone. 'signs' cant amke me do stupid things again. one day, he'll fall-in-like with a beautiful chinese (or english or japanese) woman, and they'll laugh together...or she'll smile while gazing at him from afar...or just be thankful that he's by her side. someday his world will revolve around that beautiful lady and he will love her enough to do anything for her. someday..the memory of me passing by his life will be forgotten and the secret ive shared with wenwen and claire will be one of those stories untold. he will never know that someone was happy just liking him at a distance... that's why i cant have great expectations. i should never entertain even the littlest hope for us because it just wont happen. it just wont. someone, somewhere is meant to hold his hand. and it isnt me.
~end.
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...