~okashi
how can i know okashi's right and yet im still choosing "everything else" even though it gives me nothing but pain.
i havent been writing these past few days. i just didnt seem to have the energy. i couldnt even figure out what's going on in my head these days.
have i really liked him? okay, 1. he's just a schoolmate and yet i got jealous with my friend when i had this crazy thought that she liked him too and they get to spend more time together (actually, he gets to spend more time with everyone else--coz i hardly speak to him). 2. and he kept me ranting about him in most of my posts. 3. i gave him a nickname--m.c. (originally stands for Minor Crush). 4. while i was reviewing my jap. vocabulary at school this morning, i noticed i had his nickname scribbled all over my notepad and i had to erase one of the scribbles coz its his name and i might drop my notepad accidently and that spells trouble. 5. when i pray to God, i never miss mentioning him. 6. i wasnt happy when i didnt see him for eleven days since feb. 5 until feb. 15--and just why would i not be happy? i avoid him when he's around anyway, and hardly ever speak a word to him. 7. when i open my msn, my eyes would automatically search for his name which is silly because i dont have anything to say to him on msn anyway. 8. nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them ~ from shengwen's blog. i dont think he's perfect but...err...he still brings out this annoying insecurities in me (that im not tall enough, not blahblah...) 9. all the friends i ever trusted knew about him being m.c. (if i ever become [real] friends with everyone at our department, its not impossible for everyone else to end up knowing about it, leaving him to be the only person clueless...ooopps, i have to stop myself from trusting too many people if i want to keep it secret) 10. and when i listen to some songs, i would associate it with him 11. i even made a seven-minute long video out of his pictures(from my friend's cam)...and for what reason? i dont know...i dont even have any plans of showing it to him. 12. etcetera...sure i did those things (not to mention i took a picture of his passport pic when my friend brought it home with her for visa purposes--just how silly and embarassing is that?!?)...but have i really liked him? coz if i had, howcome i couldnt pull that courage to tell him how i feel (if the feeling was anything close to like at all)...i mean, if i really liked him, he'd be worth being brave for right?
*sigh
but no...im still choosing "everything else," though i know they will only give me a headache and a heartsick...
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By Anonymous, at 12:59 PM
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...