i knew it.
i knew this year's heart's day is just going to be like my past feb. 14 days: chocolate-less, flower-less, greetingcard-less, jerk-less (even for a suitor...zero, zilch, null, void, wala, nada!). added to that is the fact that here in Japan, its the women who give chocolates and not the men (but in fairness, they do get their turn to spend on March 14). oh well...its not like im not used to it.
i will set my alarm clock at 4 pm to do my homework for that day but would end up waking up (like all other days ive planned to wake up at 4 [which is everyweekday]) a few minutes before 6:30. i would try to talk to God (i'm bad, i oftentimes forget to pray) and hurry get breakfast. if i havent showered the night before i will hurry get a shower and pray that theres no long queue of koreans in the shower room. then ill get dressed, walk with verena to the train station and attempt to do my homework inside the train while trying to breathe and survive amidst the mass of people that would no doubt flock the saikyo that day like all mornings. when i get to class...well that's a monday so i only have morning class...well you know how classes are, ill just sit there listening half of the time and pretending to listen in the other half. end of class...so straight home, where else should i go? in shinjuku station, which is uncrowded once in a blue moon, i would most probably bump into no less than 5 people who are apparently in a hurry for a rendezvous. or inside the train, ill probably be standing all throughout the ride in front of a couple, sitted across me, whispering whatevers in each other's ears. how unfair is that? they get to have a seat and someone to hold hands with? but hey...im not complaining. if there's one person who should know that feb. 14 is more like a single's awareness day than what most people think it is, it should be me--the one who's perpetually reminded of her being unattached for centuries. what with all these couples who indifferently appear everywhere around me. perhaps i should start carrying a sign saying "im single, i get jealous so please no public display of affection in front of me."
haha. that sounds pathetic. but really, im not bitter. for a milisecond there i thought its unfair, but at this very moment im actually indifferent. besides im still young, its not my time to worry about being an old maid...just yet.
if it will come, it'll come. if it doesnt, then it doesnt. ill just sing all by myself, with bridget jones, at the top of my lungs...cry like theres no tomorrow..wail, if i have to..eat gallons of ice-cream. i'm sure ill be fine. (why dont they sell ice-cream in gallons here by the way?!nakakamiss ang icecream ng pinas!)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...