hmm...that's what they say. but i think not. well not in all cases.
yesterday night i had a chat with my sister and my parents. i dont know why but almost everytime i get to talk to them, i cant help but cry. i miss them terribly.
they asked me if i have a new bag. hehehe, they know me too well to know that a month wont pass by without me acquiring a new bag (even when i dont have money. hehe). they said i have a lot of new stuff piled up on my study table now: christmas presents from my aunts and from them, bags, and just random things they bought for me when they go out. and i asked them if mama is still obsessed with skirts (she wears a skirt everytime they hear mass and that's everyday because my father is a lay minister in UP chapel) and they said she now have a total of 60 skirts and i was like--60?!? whoah!i didnt think she was that crazy about skirts!! (hehe).
i terribly terribly miss them.
being away from them made me realize i really cant live without them. back at home mama and i would have really petty fights. we would fight for the most shallow reason. and we would give each other silent treatment until someone gives up (which is usually me. ^_^). and whats amazing is i just know we fight for the silliest reason but i cant remember anymore what exactly they are, i guess for people you really love, you just easily forget things like that. except for this single fight i had with papa.
he made me give up my first theater play...well, no not really, he DIDNT actually asked me to quit, i was only forced to because everytime he and mama drives me home from practice we would always have an argument to the point that one time he got really mad and drove really fast i thought we'll crash into a random HUGE smoke-belching bus. so that was it. i stopped. i had always dreamed to be in a real theater play. so two of my friends and i auditioned for this play in my university and luckily (or so i thought then), i got the role. it was nothing big but i think it was one of the major parts in the play coz i have an alternate (i dont know how they exactly call an alternate in theater because i didnt have any connection with theater since then). it wasnt really because papa wasn't supportive of my dreams, my father was only against it because the play was activist in nature...backed up by activist groups in my university, and most people involved are activists (actually everyone except me and my friends), and the story itself. aside from practices, we would have these "discussions" supposed to enlighten us of the real plight of the filipino people and rallies too (which i almost often manage to have an excuse not to go). i would always tell papa that it doesnt matter coz im only there for the play and that no matter how many "discussions" i would go through they can never sway me from my belief that activism is not the only way to help your country, and i would ask papa to trust me on that. but he wont have any of it. he was once an activist when he was in highschool and he was jailed for a few days (for being an activist) during the tumultuous years of marcos dictatorship. so i quit. i dont want to argue anymore...and well, i guess i wanted to get more sleep (^_^ coz practices end really late at night). i can actually understand him now coz during the marcos dictatorship, many men are picked up, jailed, salvaged, and most never came home alive. it makes perfect sense now, he was only protecting me.
i miss home. i miss the laughs, and even the fights because it only means that im lucky i still have parents i can argue with (some kids dont even know who their parents are). i miss them and when i get home ill give the three of them a huge hug.
*sigh*
talk about another absence...mc.
*sigh*
i havent seen or heard anything about him for a really long time now (almost a month?). and i dont know. i dont stay online on msn, waiting in vain, for his unlikely message now (which is actually a good thing, i get enough sleep now ^_^). neither do i visit his website now. and i no longer use his picture on my yahoo messenger (^_^). im not having any insecurities about my height anymore...and the best thing is i dont think he's this super perfect guy anymore...
i guess not all absence makes the heart grow fonder after all...
but i dont know...its still too early to tell im no-crush-no-boyfriend-since-birth-and-PROUD falling star now. we'll see...
hi falling star!
don't be too sad about missing your family. it is but normal and, take comfort in the fact that they are missing you too.
you know what's worse? missing someone who used to miss you but now doesn't miss you back. that pales in comparisson to missing someone who doesn't even know you exist. :D
i'm being mean. miss your posts on my blog. you've been busy?
take care and keep smiling.
ps. If your dad is a lay minister at UP, then does it naturally follow that you live in UP too? sa UP din kami nakatira eh.
-broken wings-
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By Anonymous, at 10:49 AM
By Anonymous, at 6:15 AM
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...