i never really fancy receiving forwarded mails. i share exactly the same grievance as broken wings (i cant link her ranting here though, coz i dont know that part about blogging yet). they do iritate the hell out of me too. and i usually receive them for the millionth time...i just dont get it why members of the same mailgroup would still forward it in the exact mailgroup when they know for a fact that everyone in the group has received the same mail! how annoying. and not just that...there are evil mails that scare me into forwarding the message by telling me that my lovelife will be cursed for as long as i live if i dare not send it to more than fifteen of my friends. and it has the nerve to specify how many people i should send it to after cursing my lovelife?! that evil mail! loathe it!
although it entertains me to rage about my unwanted mails, this isnt really about how i detest them...because well, one in a thousand forwarded mails is certainly worth sharing...and this one ive really come to like...i'm clueless on who wrote this though.
its sad. and it is strange that i actually found myself relating to it when i first read it. i mean, i dont have a tree nor a wind in my life...all these time, there's just me: the leaf...who's waiting in vain for no one in particular...and wishing i have a tree i could belong to.
Tree
People call me "Tree".
I had dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U.
There's one gal who I love a lot but never dared to go after.
She didnt have a pretty face, or good figure, nor an outstanding charm.
She was just a very ordinary gal.
I liked her.
I really liked her.
I liked her innocence, her frankness,
her intelligence and her fragility.
Reason for not going after her was because I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me.
I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish.
I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.
I felt that if she were my gal,
she'd be mine ultimately
& I didn't have togive up everything just for her.
The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years.
She watched me chase other gals,
and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.
She was a good actress and me a demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend,
she bumped into us.
She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off.
The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut.
I didn't want to know what caused her to cry.
Later that day,
I returned from soccer training to get something & watched
her cry in the classroom for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her.
There was once when both of them quarreled.
I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel.
But I still sided my girlfriend.
I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.
The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened.
I know she was hurt but she didn't know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend,
I asked her out.
Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her.
I told her about my break up.
Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too,
about her gettingtogether.
I knew who the guy was.
His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School.
I didnt show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes.
Once I reached home, I couldn't breath.
Tears rolled & I broke down.
How many times have I seen her cry for the man who didnt acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read an sms in my hp.
It said,
"Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay......"
Leaf
People call me Leaf.
During the 3 years of Pre-U,
I was on very close terms with a guy as buddykind.
But when he had his 1st girlfriend,
I learnt a feeling
I never should have
learnt - Jealousy.
Sourness to the extreme limit.
They were only together for 2 months.
When they broke up, I hid my happiness.
But after a month, he got together with another gal.
I liked him & I know he liked me.
But why won't he pursue me?
Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move?
Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.
After some time, I began to suspect that this was one sided love.
If he didnt like me, why did he treat me so well?
It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend.
I know his likes, his habits.
But his feelings towards me I can never figure out.
You can't expect me a gal to ask him.
Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side.
Care for him, accompany him, and love him.
Hoping that one day, he will come to love me.
Because of this, I waited for him.
Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting.
The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.
At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me.
Everyday he pursues me.
He's like the cool & gentle wind,
trying to blow off a leaf from a tree.
In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind
a small footing in myheart.
I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land.
Finally leaf left the tree,
but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay......
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf.
Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind.
A wind that will blow her away.
When I first met her, it was 1 month after I transfer to the new school.
I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer.
During ECA time, she will always be sitting there.
Be it alone or with her friends
looking at him.
When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes.
When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes.
Looking at her became my habit.
Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear.
I felt something amissed.
I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness.
The senior was also not there as well.
I went to their classroom, hid outside
and saw my senior colding her.
Tears were in her eyes while he left.
The next day, I saw her at her usual place,
looking at him.
I walked over and smiled to her.
Took out a note & gave to her.
She was surprised.
She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note.
The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away.
It's not that leaf heart is too heavy.
Its because leaf never want to leave tree.
I replied her note with this statement
and slowly she started to talk to me
& accept my presents & phone calls.
I know that the person she loves is not me.
But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.
Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times.
Every time, she will divert away from the topic.
But I never give up.
If I decide I want her to be mine,
I will definitely use all means to win her over.
I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert
but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend.
I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone.
I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?"
She said, "I'm nodding my head".
"Ah?"
I couldn't believe my ears.
"I'm nodding my head" she replied loudly.
I hang up the phone, quickly changed
and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell.
During the moment when she opens the door,
I hugged her tightly.
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay......
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...