i dreamt about him. mc, i mean. it's strange coz i hardly ever see him recently. its either...
eeerr...while im writing, there was an earthquake for more than a minute...and while i should be getting used to this because it has quaked for no less than five times since my stay here in tokyo, its really starting to scare me. when it finally stopped i went to look for wenwen and found her in third floor's bathroom washing her hair. told her i was scared. she told me itll be alright and i could go to her room, and i felt i was keeping my tears from falling. i didnt want to cry in front of her. i dont even know why i wanted to cry. its just an earthquake.
back to mc, yes i rarely see him because its either i go home right after my class ends or fate is trying its powers to hide him from me, helping me live a nervous-free life. by the way, in my dream, he likes me. and in that dream he has two younger sibs: a boy and a girl. haaay...dreams...never real.
just last thursday i went to this bean-throwing festival. its a celebration of the day before the beginning of spring (setsubun). you throw beans to drive away bad spirits and to beckon good luck. you also have to eat beans, the number of which should equal your age. i dont know what that has to do with driving away bad spirits. maybe they think that the older one gets the eviler one becomes so you have to have more share of beans. anyway, i thought everyone would be throwing beans (the sticky kind, like nato) to each other until everyone's messy or hurt enough to stop. i guess wrong. it was worse than that. after the procession and praying, there's a stage where some important (i assume) men and women would face the crowd and throw packed beans (or other stuff like chocolates [also packed, of course], crackers, stockings [yes! tights! in the temple! what a festival huh.]) and as a common citizen, we're expected to join the mob in utter enthusiasm (that turned into a bit of hysteria when the limited stockings were at stake) while catching the goodies that were being thrown. we weren't really expected to join the crowd but since i probably wont be in another bean-throwing festival ever again, might as well join in. i cant recall how many times i got elbowed, pushed, shoved, hit, poked (*sigh*the pains of the vertically-challenged of the world)...it was MANY TIMES but not that much to permanently cut my breathing. thank God..or it would have been a senseless death (i can just imagine the words on my obituary..kathleen, 21, a happy soul in search for that one possible love, died at a very young age fighting for that one pack of---okay enough). it was mental but i admit i really had fun. in fact, im gonna go to another bean-throwing festival, if i could ^_^. claire got injured (not the serious kind) but there would have been no better way to spend that afternoon than catching beans ^_^.
i had lunch with wenwen at moss burger. i wish they have moss burger in the philippines, so when i get a craving for fastfood i wouldnt have to settle with mcdo or jollibee. i mean, moss burger have way healthier stuff compared to mcdo and jollibee. -_- (and since when did i become concerned about eating healthy?!)
yesterday, we had this activity at jap class to practice our fortune telling abilities in japanese..well, not really, but..anyway..each of us should write our predictions about no one in particular and afterwards, our fortune papers will be mixed up and each of us will pick our own life's forecast from it. *sigh*. well, fortune's not on my side...my forecast says that 10 years from now, i will be a president of this huge company, but will most likely not get rich. i will have triplets but my marriage will be in trouble. it makes perfect sense...i will get a high wage for being president but my kid's milk needs, diapers, and those toys to shut them up when they feel like being hysterical will eventually drain my savings and the stress would sap all my energy making me unfit for my position in the company and would thus make my husband leave me. what an awful forecast (that's what you get when you have a classmate who derives pleasure from inflicting pain on others...huhuhuhu)
i finally saw the tale of two sisters. at my first attempt to watch it, after a few minutes i realized i just couldnt do it alone. its useless watching a movie when i couldnt stop my hand from blocking my eyesight. but last night i finally saw it. it was really scary. but at the end of the film, i realized it was more of a sad story than a scary one...or maybe both. im really odd. at breakfast this morning, when i told them ive seen the film already, i felt tears trying to escape my eyes...the movie touched this string inside me...i can still hear su-mi in my head, apologizing to her su-yuen, telling her how sorry she was that she didnt hear her pleading/screaming and promising her it wont happen again. and i miss my sister...she does that...she protects me, maybe that was why i never really matured coz i always know someone will take care of everything for me. i guess that was also why i felt crying when i talked to wenwen at the bathroom after the quake..coz she said its alright and asked me to go to her room...that sounded just like my sister.
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(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
|How to make a Falling Star|
1/2 cup of naivety
3/4 cup of laughter
1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!*
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...