i didnt go to class again...because, well...it snowed last night and its very cold outside (i think...eeeRr..it looks cold ^_^). when i dont go to class..i always always try to justify my not going by thinking of what nice things i did that day that i couldnt have done if i was at class trying to absorb all the japanese vocabulary and grammar i could. and well, i feel like my day's made up this very early coz i had five cups of coffee and a chat with bunbun and okashi. ^_^ that's soOoo muUuch better than class! because after all, when i go back home it's not the classes i would treasure and miss the most but the chitchats, the laughs, the hanging outs...and those small things. -_-:.
five months more and its time for sayounara already. time does flies sooo fast when youre having fun. it was autumn when i got here, and the winter's almost through coz now i can sleep without the heater on and i can take a shower in cold water now...spring is already starting, in no time it'll be summer soon and then its goodbye. i would definitely cry.
i would miss the movie nights. i would miss walking in the dorm with my too-embarrassing-to-wear-outside pajamas and other piece of clothing knowing that no matter how mortifying i look, the girls would still love me (at least that's what i think so... ^_^...but im pretty sure of that). id miss...oh i have to stop this ranting or i'll end up teary-eyed...its still too soon for that. its just that the first three months i stayed here felt too long, but as the days went by...the next three months passed by in a snap..and i just have this too-difficult-to-put-in-words feeling that makes me want to stretch the next five months if i could.
amazing how people can touch your life in simple yet lasting ways. *sigh*. dont you just think life can be mean sometimes? there you are, silently walking in your almost-the-same-everyday existence, then life presents you with people that make your days a little bit more interesting, a little bit more fun, a little bit more bearable, and just when youre getting used to having them around..pooooof!..life takes them back and withdraws them from your life. sure they wont be gone forever, you'll still talk once in a while...you'll still know what's going on in their lives...but it'll be a little different..you'll be a little bit far from each other..no more dinner together..no more watching japanese news together during dinner (hardly understanding what theyre saying but all eyes and ears anyway). life can be mean but ill take whatever card it gives me. i'll take it all in...even if i hate goodbyes and even if crying is inevitable. eleven months of diversion from my ordinary existence is a lot better than a lifetime of nothing special. i seriously have to stop these thoughts or there's no stopping these tears from falling...
mc.mc.mc. well, i probably have liked him since the end of september...that's five months of pretending i dont like him and hoping im good at faking my feelings. if five months didnt move me...what more could the next five months do? probably nothing. im officialy hard-headed. but really though, i have no regrets...and will have no regrets. i like it this way...him not knowing it. its more uncomplicated...then i wont be double heartcrushed when its time to leave. if i had told him and we ended up together...id be double hesitant to let go. then i only have myself to blame if i ended up crying gallons of tears. the girls are more than enough to crush my heart and drain my tear glands. i cant be stupid enough to hurt my self more than i could bear, right?
oh i dont know. mc, why cant i be brave for you? but really, its a lot better this way.
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(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...