i think i like him. because...i saw my reflection at the trains' glass window tonight on the way home...and i saw me smiling. really smiling. i went to karaoke today with him and everyone else...it was totally unplanned. i was even thinking of going home as soon as possible before i hear more prodding from them for me to go. they went dancing afterwards but i can only do karaoke for now. we didnt even talk talk. if we ever spoke a word its just, oh the microphone please or something like that, and i wasnt even directly addressing him. haaaay. *more sigh*. but i saw me smiling anyway.
and uhh...like all other days. he really looks cute today.
i think this is the first time that im happy knowing i like him. coz usually its always with worries, and insecurities. now its different...and im happy. ureshiii!
wenwen lectured me this morning. she told me im soo okashii (strange)...coz when she likes someone, she gets nervous but she definitely wants to see the guy as often as possible... whereas me...well i avoid the guy as much as possible. and she told me how many chances of getting close to him i have passed up. that's not entirely true though. of course i want to see him..of course i want to talk to him..why else would i sometimes daydream about talking with him?!? i want to be close to him too..but im just scared that the feelings' not mutual and that he doesnt want to be anywhere close to me. and that would be unfair right? if he doesnt like me any more than being a friend, why would i push myself at him, right? if i like him a lot, what makes him happy should be enough to make me happy. apparently, i am not part of his idea of happiness because if i was...he'd be unusually interested, sweet, (or whatever...) with me right? well he isnt like that with me. besides im happy just looking at him from afar. or am i? hmmm. no one ever said love and like will be easy.
right now im just happy. it isnt that scary being near him after all.
at the end of my conversation class' tea party, i couldnt get close to my bag coz he was standing right in front of it..and when he finally left (went somewhere), he also left his cap over my bag...and they were putting it on my head but i kept putting it away..i wished i had worn it and joked him that its not his cap anymore coz i found it over my bag, you know..finder's keepers. *sigh*.
but i shouldnt have time for regrets. the fact that i was brave enough to go to karaoke with them, i deserve a pat on my back already. ^_^
someday he'll know i like him. now is just not the right time. someday...someday...
aaahh...err...well, no guy ever drooled over me...( i dont know yet if that's a blessing or not.^_^)..well i just wish someone i really like, really like me back BUT not drool i hope.^_^
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By Anonymous, at 10:29 PM
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...