im drained.*sigh*. im soo tired and soOo not feeling okay. and i know i wont be better soon.
~~~
i was lying in bed with my headphones on...and i just realized...there are soo many songs about my life already. songs that speak of what's inside me at some point in my life...
Out of Reach. gabrielle.
Knew the signs, Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while. Swept away by you
And now i feel like a fool.
So confused, My heart's brused
Was i ever loved by you?...
So much hurt, So much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost, inside.
And i hope that in time, you'll be out of my mind
And i'll be over you...
(and i guess this needs no explanation why its a song of my life...haaay...buhay...)
All the Love in The world. the corrs.
...Still i believe I'm missing something real.
I need someone who really sees me.
Don't wanna wake up alone anymore.
Still believing you'll walk through my door.
All i need is to know it's for sure
Then i'll give all the love in the world....
(almost four years ago, i used to sing this song with ate gigay [she's one of the best boardmate in the whole wide world. swear!]. we sing it together at the top of our lungs, whenever the radio plays it...aaaaah i miss those days..)
Stupid. sarah mchlachlan.
...how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see....
(although i cant totally relate in the entire song, i can definitely feel for the chorus...but that was two years ago...am not stupid anymore...^.^ i hope)
Another Day. lene marlin.
Lie to me, say that you need me
That's what I wanna hear.
That is what, what makes me happy...Hoping you'll be near....
Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile.
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie. Cannot control this,
this thing called love...
You must think, how can this be
You don't really know me
I can't tell, this ain't the time You'll never be mine...
(*sigh*...why oh why...)
Journey
Its a long long journey till i find my way home to you
many days I spent, drifting on to empty shores
wondering what's my purpose
wondering how to make me storng
i know i will falter i know i will cry...
its a long long journey...and i need to be close to you.
(well it really is a LOOOoOoNG journey...21 years and counting...^_^)
Graduation. vitamin c.
...I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound...
As we go on, We remember, All the times we Had together
And as our lives change, Come whatever
We will still be Friends Forever...
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly....
(for the many friendships and the many sayounara, paalam, and goodbyes that i had...-_-:)
Girl in the Mirror. britney spears
...There's a story in her eyes,
Lullabies and goodbyes,
When she's looking back at me,
I can tell her heart is broken, easily...
(although i dont want my soundtrack to be associated with britney...oh well...what can i say...im also that girl in the mirror)
Unpretty. tlc
...My outsides look cool, My insides are blue.
Everytime I think I'm through, It's because of you
I've tried different ways But it's all the same
At the end of the day, I have myself to blameI'm just trippin...
(well we all feel unpretty sometimes, dont we?)
I Love You. sarah m.
I have a smile stretched from ear to ear to see you walking down the road....
Oh and every time I'm close to you, there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away
and I forgot to tell you, I love you
(i am too inexperienced to say if i have ever really loved anyone...but just the same, there's always too much i cant say...)
I Will Remember You. sarah m.
....I'm so tired but I can't sleep.
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep.
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
But I will remember you, Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by. Weep not for the memories...
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose....
(hmmm...)
Come Around. rhett miller
...Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Unless you come around, so come around
(hurry please.)
Tomorrow. lea salonga.
The sun will come out, tomorrow.
Bet your bottom dollarThat tomorrow, there'll be sun
Jus' thinkin' about, tomorrow
clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow'til there's none.
When i'm stuck with the day that's gray and lonely
I just stick out my chin and grin and say, ohhh
The sun will come out, tomorrow
So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow
Come what may...
(when im soOo down i would always think that tomorrow will come and this too shall pass...it doesnt work all the time though...instead i tell myself: Relax. God's in charge!)
Perfect Girl. sarah m.
Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo....Knowing that you've loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time
(i just love the "knowing that you've loved no matter what, and everything will....in time" part)
Someone's Waiting For You. lea s.
Be brave little one, Make a wish for each sad little tear
Hold your head up though no one is near
Someone's waiting for you
Don't cry little one, There'll be a smile where a frown used to be
You'll be part of a love that you see....
Have faith little one'til your hopes and your wishes come true
You must try to be brave little one
Someone's waiting to love you....
(I sing this song to myself from when i first learned to hurt...i always thought its a kiddie song, then again..not really)
A Place Nearby. lene m.
...You just faded away
You spread your wings you had flown
Away to something unknown
Wish I could bring you back.
You're always on my mind
About to tear myself apart.
You have your special place in my heart...
(death itself is something i am not scared of...what i fear about dying is the pain it leaves to the people left behind. its painful. and to say it tears yourself apart is an understatement. the gravity is just undescribable. perhaps im just not someone who can let go easily especially when its something that occupies a place in my heart. it makes me cry knowing i wont see lolo ever again. but i guess what hurts me more is the thought that when lolo passed away, mama went through the very thing i am scared of happening to me..losing my parents)
You'll See. madonna
....You think that i can never laugh again, You'll see
You think that you destroyed my faith in love.
You think after all you've done,
I'll never find my way back home,
You'll see, somehow, someday....
(*sigh*)
Yesterday. beatles
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
(when im overwhelmed by so many things, i always long for the time when im still so young to know what problems are....haaaay. but we all have to grow..there's no bringing back the times that have passed...)
Disguise. lene
Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside....
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have...
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out....
Have you ever seen your face, In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess, You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too...
(well we cant be transparent all the time...)
Answer. sarah m.
I will be the answer At the end of the line
I will be there for you, Why take the time.
In the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life, I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it, Worth it in the end
Because I can only tell you that I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright...
(well i often wish i could be someone's answer...)
Flown Away. lene m.
I've flown too high on borrowed wings...
In a sky containing no one but me
Up there's all empty and down there's the sea
No one here but me...
i got to this place arrived at last
In front there's the future right back there's the past
Everything's moving so fast...
Isthis the right place to stay
Please my wings fly me away.
(unexplainable.)
Alive. j.Lo
Time goes slowly now in my life
Fear no more of what im not sure
Searching for your soul
The strength to stand alone
The power of not knowing, And letting go
I guess I found my way
It's simple when it's right
Feeling lucky just to be here tonight
And happy just to be me and be alive
Love, in and out...In my, in my heart
And though life can be strangeI can't be afraid...
(im just happy too...to be me and be alive. no one said life and love will be an easy road to travel, so even if im a little too messed up and lost sometimes, im still happy to be me and be alive...^_^)
Like Lovers Do. heather nova
I want to take it easy, take it slow.
To catch a fire and let it go...
Like lovers do, i want to feel that way
Like lovers do, they lose themselves for days
And i need to feel, i need to feel that way....
(am not the only one, arent i?)
I need to be in love. carpenters.
The hardest thing i've ever done
Is keep believing There's someone in this crazy world For me...
My chance could come and i might never know....
i know i need to be in love
I know i've wasted too much time
I know i ask perfection of A quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that's What i'll find...
(you have to be kathleen and the composer of this song to understand...^_^)
Push. sarah m.
...you've seen me at my weakest yet you take me as I am
and when i fall you offer me a softer place to land
you stay the course, you hold the line, you keep it all together,
you're the one true thing i know i can believe in....
i get mad so easy, but you give me space to breathe...
even when i have to push just to see how far you'll go
you won't stoop down to battle me, you never turn to go....
there are times I cant decide when i can't tell up from down...
otherwise i'd drown but you pick me up and brush me off and tell me i'm okay
and sometimes that's just what we need to get us through the day....
(my song for God.)
One Year Ago. lene m.
She's walking there alone, No one by her side
She manages to fight the tears,
but The pain inside She can't hide
And all the tears she's cried.
The moment she closes her eyes, she startsThinking of you
The dreams that she had one time
Have gone away, Will they ever come true?
All she needs is��all she needs is you
(its really almost a year ago. *sigh*. when i listen to this song, it almost feels like this verse was written for me. i just...aaaah...past is past...besides, im all healed already)
Wind Beneath My Wings. bette midler
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind....
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But i've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know i know the truth, of course i know it.
I would be nothing without you....
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything i wish i could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings....
(-_-: this is my song for my family. they know me inside out but still embrace me...)
Goodbye to Love. carpenters
I'll say goodbye to love, No one ever cared if i should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by
And all i know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it...
There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine.
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And i'll find that there is someone to believe in
There may come a time when i will see that i've been wrong
But for now this is my song
And it's goodbye to love
(aaaaawww....byebye love)
Only Hope. mandy moore
There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over, and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over, and over, and over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours I pray
To be only yours I know now,
you're my only hope...
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again
I give you my destinyI'm givin' you all of me
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm givin' it back....
(song for God again.^_^)
Ticket to Ride. carpenters
...i think i'm gonna be sad, I think it's today, yeah
The boy that's driving me mad is going away.
He's got a ticket to ride
He's got a ticket to ride
He's got a ticket to ride And he don't care...
(this is my song last december...and uh..this august? ^_^)
Slipped Away. avril
I hope you can hear me I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Now your gone...There you go...
Somewhere I can't bring you back...
Somewhere your not coming back...
(every after heartbreak...there's always something in us that longs to take back what has slipped away. but after a while, we realize that its meant to slip away after all)
Big Big World. emilia
I'm a big big girl in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that I too too will miss you much...
I can see the first leaf falling, it's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside like the way I'm feeling inside...
Outside it's now rainingand tears are falling from my eyes...
(well yeah...im a big big girl now. i can handle it when things go haywire...)
On My Own. lea s.
I love him, But when the night is over,
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him the world around me changes,
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.
I love him, But everyday I'm learning,
All my life, I've only been pretending,
Without me, His world will go on turning,
A world that's full of happiness,That I have never known...
I love him....But only on my own...
(hmm...)
Angel. sarah m.
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day...
Beautiful. christina aguilera
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down...
(even if i may not believe it, i am beautiful just the way i am.)
I Remember the Boy. lea s.
Today i heard them play the song again
An old familiar strain from way back when
Every note and every line
It's always been a favorite song of mine
It used to haunt me so some years ago
Reminds me of a boy i used to know
And although the melody lives on
The memories and the boy are all but gone
And while the song still brings that certain glow
And the words still sing of love i know
It isn't quite the way it was before
I remember the boy but i dont remember the feeling anymore
(well said.)
Reflection. lea s
...If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
I am now In a world where I Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world
What's inside my heart And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection Someone I don't know?...