timo said im always always negative on love, when he saw my msn name (the one above).
that's NOT entirely true. there was a point when i thought i never cared if it hurts coz atleast i have loved (or rather liked deeply) and that alone should make me grateful because falling in deep like with someone is definitely one of the most wonderful state one could be in. BUT love has really been mean to me.why does it always have to be soO damn hard and sOo damn painful?
i thought im fine falling in like with someone from afar...i thought im okay just admiring them from a distance while watching myself fall, never expecting anything in return, or never even hoping they'd know what im feeling. i thought im fine with that...but i guess im not.
whats painful is the thought that im hurt and they dont even have any tiny single idea that im hurting. whats painful is that i oftentimes end up blaming myself when i hurt because i think there's no one else to blame...i mean, none of them knew...and i never even tried to let them know. whats painful is that its always the same story, one after the other...and that i dont think that pattern is going to change soon.
but is it really my fault? is it my fault that i see a wonderful person to like in them? is it my fault that im painfully not myself around them? is it my fault that with them i cant say whats really on my mind? is it my fault that i always end up liking guys who unfortunately dont find me wonderful enough to like as well, or even half as much as i like them? howcome they get to look so good in my eyes, that makes me like them even more when i cant do anything to make them fall for me?
i wasnt always negative on love. its just that you cant help but lose that naivety after a while. i cant help but lose it.
faith in love? i dont know. i still try to believe someone will come. im young. theres still plenty of years to wait, in vain. maybe theres still faith in me after all, theres just one thing that changed...i dont think i can welcome love with the same enthusiasm and hope that i had when i first liked deeply.
"You say that love is nonsense....I tell you it is no such thing. For weeks and months it is a steady physical pain, an ache about the heart, never leaving one, by night or by day; a long strain on one's nerves like toothache orrheumatism, not intolerable at any one instant, but exhausting by its steady drain on the strength." -Henry Adams-
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By Anonymous, at 11:43 PM
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...