i dont know how its going to be like tomorrow or this afternoon or right after i write this, but at this very moment i know and i feel that God is enough for me. if richard or any special guy i like cant love me, i will do just fine. after all the crying, i will do just fine. i can find my peace in God.
when i was a kid i used to say, whenever im asked what i'd like to be when i grow up, that i'd want to be a nun. but back then it has nothing to do with my faith. i only wanted to be a nun because i heard that nuns dont marry. i heard that when someone marries, they leave their home and parents and i just couldnt imagine myself leaving papa and mama so i decided i should be a nun.
in the 21 years ive been walking on earth, ive had my share of laughs and tears, sang a thousand sad songs and happy ones, fell in and out of 'like' (or love, or so i thought), wrote my fears and pain on a dozen journals hoping that somehow they'd go away...the reasons for my fears, tears, and laughs, changes, some of the songs i've forgotten, the faces of the guys i like changes, and each pain is not the same as it last visited me...but through it all there's only one thing constant. i always find peace in God.
dont get me wrong, i am not saying i've given up all my hopes and dreams of falling in love (for real, that is) and finally decided my fate is probably inside a convent. i'd be lying to myself and to God if i do that because i know in my heart that this i-want-to-be-loved-back feeling will never leave me. i am just...*sigh*...i am just thankful to my parents for introducing God to me since i was little. i wouldnt know where i would be now if not for God's comfort. its most likely that i'd have lost my hold on sanity ages ago if it weren't for God.
i dont know what i'd be if not for God. and so i know that if richard doesnt end up liking me, i'd fall for someone again despite my i'll-protect-myself scheme (coz i almost always promise myself to guard my heart better every after heart wound, but almost always fail after a couple of months) and that someone might end up hurting me again, and the go-break-kathleen's-heart cycle goes on forever but i know i will do just fine. i have God with me and i will do just fine. God is enough for me.
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(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...