i learned a lot of things today. (thank you miryll okashi ^^)
Risks. ive read that we only grow by taking risks, and the most difficult risk of all is to be honest with ourselves and with others. i think so too. i think what makes older people wiser is that they've gone through many risks already. going beyond our comfort zones to an unfamiliar ground is scary...but we learn to be brave by taking that risk. and its ironic because by going out of our comfort zones, we are actually widening it. the once unfamiliar zone becomes familiar and we realize that fear is really just a passing state. hmm..but the risk of being honest with ourselves? i have to figure that one out...
Acceptance. its difficult to move on...because acceptance is hard to swallow. when unpleasant things happen...things that turned out differently from how i wish they would, i know there's absolutely nothing i could do to change it and yet i still dwell on it. i live in the past and unconsciously blame myself for something i totally have no control of. Like when m.c. only said thanks to my "little project"...i got myself hurt because i kept telling myself, he doesnt like you because youre not interesting or pretty enough. Or when ***p* left me confused and bruised after leading me on, treating me differently from any other girls in class (his words)....he said that "there were things clouding his mind"...and i blamed myself again for not being enough to clear his clouded mind. If i had only accepted what happened then and there...there would be no blaming and i wouldnt treat myself like a loser. what happens is i dwell on it too much that i end up thinking i lost something that i never really had in the first place. i mean, okay so ive had after class walks with ***p* and i felt special because he'd ask to carry my books for me sometimes and some small sweet things he'd do. but i was hurt too much because i imagined a future with him...i imagined more walks and more talks, but when it ended...when there were no more walks and talks, i cried not for the past but for the future i thought we will have. if i had accepted that that was all there is to it, then i wouldnt have cried as much.
Forgiveness. i am not perfect...and no one is. and i may do foolish things sometimes. i made mistakes and will continue making them...and i realize i should forgive myself for that. and forgiving means letting go of all the blame i place to myself. like when i gained weight...when i look at my used-to-just-fit-me-but-now-i-cant-zip pants id feel bad and point the finger to myself again. so im not like other people who lose their appetite when theyre depressed...so i comfort myself by eating sweets...so what?! that's no sin. the important thing is that i learn from my mistakes.
I dont live in fairy tales. i can be very idealistic most of the time, and okashi had to nudge me to realize that. its amazing how our friends can know us better than we know ourselves, sometimes. the thing with me according to miryll is that i care too much about love...but i hardly show i do. most of the time, i appear like i dont give a damn about it...that i dont want to be approached..that im not interested in love or any guy. and miryll's right. i just wait in vain and expect the guy to do all the work...i expect too much from the guy...but hardly do anything to show i care, in fact i even pretend i dont care..whats up with that?! i dont know why i do that...im no cinderella, and im not snow white, neither am i sleeping beauty. i cant just lie and sleep there until my prince finally find me, and kiss me...and voila(!)--we live happily ever after. in real life, it doesnt work that way. i always expect The One to find his way to me...but that's soOo wrong...it should be both of us, finding the way that leads to each other.
kailie...love hurts doesnt it? its something i cant quite figure out myself. but hey, even if we hurt..we wont give on love okay?
Cool guestbook, interesting information... Keep it UP
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(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...