recently i could stay up all night and not feel sleepy at all...i usually get some sleep in the morning but sometimes even being awake all night, im still up and unsleepy all day after that. they say that insomnia may have been caused by not having a bedroom conducive to sleep, by caffeine, obscure allergies, depression, pain, fears, worries..or any emotional problem that's not being dealt with. my bed is certainly conducive to sleeping, and ive been avoiding caffeine intake recently, neither do i have allergies...so am i depressed? in pain? scared? worried? emotionally disturbed?
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i realized i dont want to own an aquarium. fishes are amazing but i dont think they deserve to be locked in that glass where there's hardly any place to swim. my heart aches for them. i know that if i were a fish, i defintely want to be in the sea--where i really belong. imagine if i were inside an aquarium, and my soulmate fish is swimming in the huge ocean trying to find its way to me? that's terrible. then id have to settle with the other fishes inside the glass with me...because i dont really have a choice, do i? what a horrible way to live my life.
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i love kids. i soOo love kids. i want to volunteer in an organization that takes care of kids who have no one to take care of them. when i go back to the Philippines, i will make better use of my time. oh my gawd i really love kids!
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fate has a funny way of playing tricks on me. right when i dont want to dwell on ex-m.c. thoughts anymore, then comes his name appearing everywhere. i was reading The Da Vinci Code and he was there as Teabing's employee. i was wtaching Friends on pei's room and he was there as monica's ex. I was watching Wowiewee on Cable and he was also there. and i was reading my econ book and "m.c." was there on the graph (marginal cost). coincidence huh?
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seen another love story. at the back of my mind, im thinking...*sigh* its beautidul BUT in my life? there will never be a lovestory like this. Im really tired. im tired of going through the same pattern all over again. im tired of giving too much of my heart and getting nothing back. i know that i never should expect anything in return...but im only human and i need to be loved.
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im scared. im scared that no matter how i guard my heart, i will be hurt by the same process again. i dont even want to use the word "fall" again. im scared i really lost "some" of my faith in love. and i dont want to lose it because i need all the faith i could get...and because its only a faint memory but i know how good it felt to like deeply with all hopes and faith...but now..paano na? wala nako nun.
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How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...