after my coffeeshop study time today, i felt like walking from ichigaya to shinjuku again instead of taking the train (with train it only takes 10 minutes, with my own two feet it takes more than an hour). i need some fresh air and time alone to think. i walked pass this park-like long strip of street at yotsuya and i was looking for a log of wood to sit on but every log of wood i pass by (at least 7?) has a couple having an afternoon quality time talking. although the log is long enough to accomodate at least eight people, i felt it was inappropriate to share the log with them so i just kept on walking. i finally landed on the last log there is, but with no view. but i had to do something so i thought id just do what i love doing: write.
miryll told me in one of the best letters ive ever received that i am so not meant to be alone forever...but that i just have to be a little more patient because i ask much...
why is it that i want to be attached anyway? what is it that i want from a relationship?
***err...i guess i have to continue this at home because its getting darker and i...oh my..is it raining?! aargh. not again!!?! ***
it did rain. it looks so perfectly well this morning that i thought i would be needing no umbrella, hence i didnt bring any, then it rained. aaaargh. and faced with the terror of having to buy my fifth umbrella, i did what any stupid girl would do...i walked...no ran...back to ichigaya to get my umbrella deposited at school. i was dripping wet when i reached school that no umbrella can save me or my already-wet bag and books.
next, i did what only certified stupid girls would do. the rain was pouring heavily and i was all wet, it was 6 in the evening and getting dark, i was wearing my flip flops that doest flop because it has heels (read: very slippery), and i have an almighty train pass from my dorm to my school which would take me to shinjuku for 10 minutes sheltered from the rain and if im lucky i might even get a seat---but i still continued walking...and it took me more than an hour.
i dont know if i should be happy knowing that i have the will to do what my heart first sets out to do despite the odds, or if i should be worried that i am getting really stubborn. *sigh* but at least my flip flops was stronger than it looks. tonight wasnt its last day walking on earth after all.
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By Anonymous, at 4:39 PM
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
(hehehehe...in random order...^_^)
How to make a Falling Star |
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of naivety 3/4 cup of laughter 1/4 cup & 1 tsp. of insecurity |
Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness. Sprinkle a bit of craziness (it's not complete without that!). Serve chilled with a smile. And recently, i discovered that if you add a pinch of faith, it'll be a lot better. Yum!*Do not overindulge!* |
When i lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that i loved you but you will never be loved again the way that i did...
everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, failures, love lost, memories of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of one's soul. without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. it would be safe and comfortable but uttery pointless...
do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, it is because we are different that each of us is special...
do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. by living your life, one day at a time, you live all the days of your life...
do not be afraid to encounter risks, it is by taking risks that we learn how to be brave...
do not run through life so fast that you forget, not only where you have been, but also where you are going...
Humankind get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again...
We cannot make anyone love us. All we can do is let ourselves be loved.
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse
"This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles
The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible...
Its amazing the things you realize when you lose someone; you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times, you take for grantd the days doing nothing when you could have been with them. anyone can be taken at anytime in our lives, but we always wait until theyre gone to say the things we never had the courage to before
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along...
in the movie "in the mood for love," if someone had a secret they didnt want to share, they go up to a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it and whisper the secret into the hole...then they cover it with mud, leaving the secret there forever...
this is my hole...